We’ve found a few interesting calls, recorded by http://www.callcentrehelper.com/. Luckily we know our own users are much more clued up than these ones!

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer:: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”

Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”
Customer:: “How do you spell that?”

Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Pentium.”

Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”

Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”

Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support:: “Well?”
Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

Customer:My broadband is not working.
Tech Support: What exactly is happening when you try to access the internet.
Customer:#$%@..I have nothin to do with the internet. I SAID MY BROADBAND IS NOT WORKING.